This blog post was contributed by Dr. Muna Chowdhury, a K’jipuktuk-Halifax family physician, GP psychotherapist and mom. 

The holidays are a busy time full of food, fun and family. We go into the season looking forward to the warmth and harmony but sometimes gatherings don’t always play out that way. Different personalities, long-standing family dynamics, and a wide mix of opinions can show up at these times.

This, along with the pressure of holiday schedules, the rush to see multiple households, financial stress and the emotional load that often comes with the end of the year, means that tensions can rise faster than we expect. Even small disagreements can feel amplified.

So how do we keep the peace and enjoy the time we spend together?

Connect through activity
One of the simplest ways to prevent conflict is to make sure there’s plenty for people to do. Board games, card games, cooking together, looking through old photo albums or even working on a puzzle can keep guests engaged and relaxed. Shared activities naturally shift the focus toward fun topics rather than discussion-heavy ones. They also create new memories and positive moments to look back on. When everyone is laughing, working together or reminiscing, there’s far less opportunity for conversations to wander into sensitive territory.

Guide conversations
If a conversation starts drifting toward something tense, guide it gently back. Staying tuned in to group discussions and interpersonal dynamics makes it easier to notice early when a topic is heading into risky territory. Rather than waiting for things to escalate, a well-timed redirection can make a big difference. This could be as simple as asking about holiday plans, steering the topic toward a lighter subject or suggesting a new activity. These small shifts help people save face and avoid feeling like they’ve been shut down.

When the topic isn’t harmful but just uncomfortable, actively listening and acknowledging the speaker’s feelings or perspective can go a long way. It helps people feel heard without pushing the conversation deeper into conflict.

Set boundaries, expectations
And when needed, set clear boundaries to protect the group. If a conversation starts crossing the line into harmful or emotionally charged territory, more direct action may be necessary. Setting expectations ahead of time can help, especially if you know certain topics tend to cause tension. A gentle reminder that certain discussions are off-limits for the day can prevent misunderstandings.

If a sensitive subject comes up unexpectedly, stepping in calmly and firmly to steer things back on track is completely appropriate. A respectful comment like, “Let’s save this for another time. Today we’re here to enjoy each other’s company,” can reset the mood and safeguard the space for everyone.

The goal isn’t to avoid every difference or silence people’s opinions, but to create an environment where everyone feels comfortable, is able to enjoy and freely participate in the activities. With a little awareness and a few thoughtful strategies, it’s possible to keep gatherings warm and positive.

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